my poems

for new comers who are wanting to see my poetry, mosy of them are near the bottom but i will add more to this site soon.

Football at lunch

I'm in work and have just got back in from playing football on my lunch break. it is so HOT out there once you get running around.
My team didnt do too well but we did alright. we got beat but i managed to score my hatrick and in style. I lobbed the keeper for one, volleyed another one an placed another one nicely. Step aside Henry, Banks is here!
The only downside to playing football today is that everyone is sweating like crazy! Everyone rushed too the WC too cool themselves down, but even after doing this everyone is still hot and expiring.
But now i'm back at my desk chillin' with my Dr Pepper and am chatting to my peeps online

Hay fever and holiday

Well Summer is here again and so is hayfever....
I look forward to summer every year and every year i remember about my hayfever.
Itchy eyes, itchy throat, blocked nose, sneezing and the latest addition over the past few years is the breathing effect making me feel like i've got asma (or however you spell it) so i now have an inhaler.
I have to use an inhaler, tablets/pills and now eye drops.
I have never used eye drops before so i am having to get the hang of it.....I can't tell whether its going in my eye partially, fully or non at all when i've been doing it, grrr.
Can't wait til i go away on 28th June because abroad i dont get hayfever, WOOHOO!!!
I am going to Rhodes, Greece for a week all inclusive and cannot wait. Recently i have been buying my holiday clothes, even tho i'm sure i have enough clothes for holiday from clothes i bought last year, lol! I have bought some posh flip flops from 'Animal', some funky simming shorts with partial bits that have pink 'n' white flowers (like hawaiin shirts, not just random pink flowers,lol!)
I have got world cup fever in respect of holiday stuff. got a new england home shirt, an england shirt beach bag, a shirt with england on, a shirt with brazil on and a shirt with italy on. I have also got my gf to get a shirt that has england written on it, its actually quite cute cos its a me to you bear holding a heart that has england written on it.
while im on holiday i want to go on jet ski's but the main thing i want to do is to go bungee jumping! i think it would be so cool and would be good to cross off the things to do before you die list. of course i will shit myself leadin up to the jump itself. what didnt help with that matter is my parents telling me about people gettin whiplash an snapping their necks when doing bungee jumping....cheers mum and dad!

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING LIVER-POOL!

Well we have just got some decent news. we can feel comfortable to listen to music while we're in work (while we're doing fuck all, lol!) So i now have my music, currently listeing to 'fall out boys'.

We have also seemed to beat the system and we are now on MSN messenger *grins*
Only wondering if Arvato will ever figure it out...

I was watching a programme about the big spenders of the UK and whilst it was cool to see what they get up to and who gets in debt etc. i found myself a little sad because i have not done much in my life career wise....i keep saying i am going to become a writer but i havent even written a full story yet, just some poems.

My gf said that i should start by writing loads of poems and sending them off everywhere to see if they'll get published and therefore getting my name known. then i can move up the ladder and start stories and hopefully someday films. The money will soon role in, lol!

I really want to buy a laptop and do my poems on that but its not looking like i will...:( i dont have the money to buy one and if i want to do the slow pay off plan then it will cost me £48 a month and im not confident about this job lasting over 4 months...

We have a new leader person while Irish Connor is away. she doesnt seem to know an awful lot but seems like a nice person and im sure she is :)

Hoping to do something cool on saturday with peeps but so far no-one has been able to confirm, fingers crossed

Looking like work will finally start tomorrow afternoon...not sure if i'm happy about that or not...

For my excellent friend Andy Part 2

Just for you Andy, lol i have been looking for some interesting sites for you to go to :)

http://www.illwillpress.com

http://www.justriddlesandmore.com/sking.htm

http://www.jokesunlimited.com/quizzes.php

http://www.mikesjokepage.com/accident.htm
http://www.mikesjokepage.com/vanprank.htm
http://www.mikesjokepage.com/deerprank.htm (this one gets gold stars from me)
http://www.mikesjokepage.com/vaderprank.htm
http://www.mikesjokepage.com/dunkgirl.htm
http://www.mikesjokepage.com/barman.htm
http://www.mikesjokepage.com/mencanmultitask.htm


http://www.mikesjokepage.com/cubes.htm
http://www.mikesjokepage.com/slm2.htm
http://www.michaelbach.de/ot/mot_sigma/index.html


theres many more i was gonna do but i know you need them now

For my excellent friend Andy Part 1

My friend Andy seems to be going insane with boredom in this job so i have decided to try and stop him from losing his sanity and bring a smile back on his face. Here i will have jokes and maybe links to interesting places.

These Jokes mightn't be the best but keep on reading anyway please :)

Andy this is for you and i hope you enjoy it :)

JOKES:

Q: What should you give an elf who wants to be taller?
A: Elf raising flour.

• A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. The barman looks at the creature and asks the man what he calls it."Tiny" replies the man."Why's that?" asks the bartender."Because he's my newt!"

• First Man: I bet I can make you speak like a Red Indian?

Second Man: How?

First Man: Told you I could.

• THE SINGING BULLFROG
  A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, and then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.

After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, which begins to sing along with the rat's music.

While the man is enjoying his free drinks, a stranger confronts him and offers him £100,000 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale." The stranger increases the offer to £250,000 cash up front. "No," he insists, "he's not for sale." The stranger again increases the offer, this time to £500,000 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money.

"Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. "That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere £500,000!"
"Don't worry about it." the man answered. "The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist."

• PANDA WARNING
  A Panda walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a meal. When the meal finally arrives, he eats it quickly, then shoots a drunk, and leaves the bar.

A patron walks over to the bartender and asks, "What was that all about?"

The bartender replies, "Look up 'panda' in the dictionary, pal."

And so, the patron retrieves his Webster's dictionary from his coat pocket and looks up the word 'panda.

'"What's it say?" asks the bartender.

The patron replies with a grin, "Eats shoots and leaves."

• TWO WISHES

A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the bartender asks for their order.

The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?"

"I'll have a beer too" says the ostrich.

The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be $3.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again, and the man says "I'll have a beer,"
The ostrich says "I'll have the same."

Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This became a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the bartender.

"Well, it's close to last orders, so I'll have a large Scotch" says the man.
"Same for me" says the ostrich.

"That will be $7.20" says the bartender.

Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the bar.

The bartender can't hold back his curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found this old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever needed to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money will be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the bartender. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk, or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

"That's fantastic!" says the bartender. "You are a genius! Oh, one other thing sir, what's with the ostrich?"

The man replies, "Oh, my second wish was for a chick with long legs."

• THE MAGICAL DANCING DUCK

A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some negotiations, they settled on a figure of $10,000 for the duck and the pot.
Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a rip off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step!"
"So?" asked the ducks former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"

• A MAN MEETS A GENIE

A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants, provided that his mother-in-law gets double.

The man thinks for a moment and then says,

"OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death."

• BUYING CONDOMS

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.

"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over to him and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."

The boy leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."

• FOUR CATHOLIC LADIES

Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together. The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic woman says smugly, "My son is a Cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle "Well.....?"

She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6'2", hard bodied stripper. When he walks into a room, people say, 'Oh my God...'."

• POPULATING THE EARTH

After a few days, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth so I want you to kiss her."

Adam answered, "Yes Lord, but what is a kiss?" So the Lord gave a brief description to Adam who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush.

A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, "Thank you Lord, that was enjoyable."

And the Lord replied, "Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that and now I'd like you to caress Eve."

And Adam said, " 'What is a 'caress'? So the Lord again gave Adam a brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve.

Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, "'Lord, that was even better than the kiss."

And the Lord said, "'You've done well Adam. And now I want you to make love to Eve."

And Adam asked, "What is 'make love' Lord?"' So the Lord again gave Adam directions and Adam went again to Eve behind the bush, but this time he reappeared in two seconds.

And Adam said, "Lord, what is a 'headache'?"

"Let me..." a poem by C Banks

LET ME

when the wind blows
let me hear your name
When the sun shines
Let me feel your warmth
When I close my eyes
Let me see your face
And when I wake in the morning
I will forever know...
That I love you

Mother Nature by c banks

MOTHER NATURE

Mother Nature comfort me
Take me in your arms
Protect me from my shaken life
That always leads to harm

You are powerful
And I have faith in you
Nurture me like your nurture your children
Help me pull through

Even in the darkness
You still are here
You are not afraid
You have no fear

Give me your courage,
Your guidance and strength
Give me the confidence that
Every breath, is worth taking

COARSE FISHING

COARSE FISHING

In research I have done, it is shown that as long as the first and last letter of a word is correct then we can read anything even if the middle letters are mixed up. Since my poem is about a psychopath who has a human sized word search board, I thought I would use this method of the first and last letter to make it like you the reader have to search for the words.

HUMAN WORD SEARCH

Cmoe itno my wrold
tihs palce you may not laeve
the air is not too tgiht
you sohuld be albe to bertahe
for now…

Setp otno the plafrtom
Let’s paly a liltte gmae
How qiuck is yuor mnid and bdoy?
Msut be good or you’ll nveer
See dyailght aigan

Try and fnid the wdros
Taht will idneed svae yuor lfie
If you are too solw and worng
Yuor hraet will rveiecve the kinfe

A poem called 'Bored in the Office'

I am sitting here bored in the office and so decided to write a poem. its not my best work but hey it was something to do....

Bored in the office

I sit here….waiting
I look around…waiting

Waiting for something to happen
Something to catch my eye
Waiting for that flying pig to go by

I sit here…thinking
I look around…thinking

Thinking why am I here
And what the hell is going on
Nothing’s changed since the day we begun

I feel my eye lids…closing
I feel my brain’s energy box…closing

Closing all the functions as nothing is being used
My mind is nearly blank
As I nearly cry into my tissues…with boredom

New office toys

Since there is nothing much to do in the office i have decided to buy some things to keep my entertained.

I got paid!

Ok i FINALLY got paid in my job

Now i'm giving you peeps a job....

give me ideas of things to buy :)

i'll look forward to your suggestions

Fuckin' Cheslea!!!!!!!

GRRR!!!

As a football fan i am officially p****d off today!
I am sick of bloody Chelsea getting all the money in the world from their fun buddy abromavich!
I want a club to win the title off merit and maybe the odd signing that doesnt come to too much.

Today its looking like they are signing Shevchenko for £34 million...ANNOYED!!! It just makes the premiership tainted in someway.

The only thing i'm happy about is that Liverpool beat chelsea in matches whether they have millions or not!